Xeniality–welcoming others to your garden

Xeniality: Being hospitable, especially to visiting strangers or foreigners. Of the relation between a host and guest; friendly (google dictionary),

and: giving gifts to strangers (urban dictionary)

I learned a new word in honor of the A to Z blogging challenge. Last time I did the A to Z blogging challenge, my word for X was xeranthemum (I was doing the alphabet in flowers)–but I had a hard time coming up with a word for my soul blossoming theme until I came across this word in one of my favorite magazines: Mary Jane’s Farm.

Are you xenial? Am I?

Xeniality is a lovely word–and a lovely sentiment. But I’m not sure that I am a xenial person. If it means inviting strangers into my home, then the answer is definitely no. As a single woman who lives alone, I don’t invite people I don’t know well into my home. Still, when I’m out and about or here in my virtual home, I try to act hospitably to everyone I meet by smiling and saying hello. I do it here in Colorado–where it seems more people act xenially– I did it in Chicago and even in New York City, where my daughters insisted that it was inappropriate (and perhaps embarrassing–not sure). I’m a fairly quiet person, so my interactions tend to be the same–a little smile, a hello, that’s about it.

I found one quote about xeniality by Lemony Snicket (Daniel Handler):

“‘Xenial‘ is a word which refers to the giving of gifts to strangers. . . . I know that having a good vocabulary doesn’t guarantee that I’m a good person. . . . But it does mean I’ve read a great deal. And in my experience, well-read people are less likely to be evil.”

Funny, right?

What does it mean to be hospitable?

I found this great quote from Ruth Soukup (of Elite Blog Academy, among other things):

“Hospitality is not about inviting people into our perfect homes, it is all about inviting people into our imperfect hearts.”

And when I read that, I thought: that’s what I’m trying to do right here in my blog. I spent so many years trying and pretending to be perfect, and now I’m embracing my own imperfection–which in turn gives me the space to embrace other people’s imperfections. And what could be more hospitable than that? Accepting people just as they are and just as they aren’t seems pretty darn xenial to me. And opening ourselves in that way creates a great opportunity for blossoming on all sides!

I’ll end with one more quote:

Hospitality means primarily the creation of free space where the stranger can enter and become a friend instead of an enemy. Hospitality is not to change people, but to offer them space where change can take place. It is not to bring men and women over to our side, but to offer freedom not disturbed by dividing lines.     

Henri J.M. Nouwen

That’s it for today (and this week).

Thanks for stopping by!

xoxo