Acceptance is not approval–or I love learning something new

Here is one thing I learned this week–acceptance is not approval.

Meditation

Even though I’ve been meditating for many years, I decided to try the 30-day How to meditate course by Jeff Warren on the Calm app. I love the Calm app! Almost every night now, I listen to a bedtime story there as I drift off to sleep–have yet to hear the ending of any of them.

They offer a free subscription for teachers–as long as your school email isn’t gmail. Mine is, but when I contacted them, they gave me a free year’s membership!

I’ve shared some thoughts about meditation–Meditation basics, Rainbow chakra meditation, and a few others. But this course is so lovely and simple that I want to rewrite what I’ve written. It consists of a daily 10-15 minute meditation based on mindfulness.

Earlier this week, the meditation centered on acceptance. Toward the end of the meditation, Jeff said that acceptance is not approval. Well, I can get so busy beating myself up and resisting approving of ways I spend my time.

Acceptance is not approval

When I think about it now, it seems obvious. I can accept myself with all my flaws and all my gifts (which are often the same thing depending on the situation) and still want to change/grow. (Repeat as needed: Acceptance is not approval)

And I thought about it in terms of the children I work with. We are human beings, but I often think about children as human becomings. Really, we all are. But it happens so quickly and obviously in children. I found a post on this subject by Annie Mueller, She adds another “A”–authority. For example, if we apprentice ourselves to an expert, she says, they can rightly approve or disapprove of our work. She includes child and parent in this category. I would include teacher, as well. But while we do have authority over the children in our care–and rightfully so–we still need to respect who they are. Mueller says approval comes from respect.

As caregivers, we need to tread carefully. While part of our work consists of keeping the children safe and teaching children how to live in our world, they also need deep acceptance for who they are. Don’t we all?

Our faculty discussed a little girl who likes to play victim. Some asked how do we get her to stop. We’re an early childhood program, so the main way the children learn is through imitation (you can read more about the basics of Waldorf EC ed here). But even though it makes me uncomfortable, I feel it’s important to accept her–who she is now and who she is becoming–to trust that she’ll play her way through and learn what she needs to.

Children often do things that make me uncomfortable. I had a three-year-old class that cooked and ate each other in our sweet little wooden play stove. I let them do it–they had tons of fun. And I reminded myself that it didn’t mean the same thing to them that it did to me.

Poetry Friday

And since today is Poetry Friday–this week hosted by Rebecca Herzog–I thought I’d try to condense these meandering thoughts (which I totally accept) into a poem. Check out Rebecca’s blog to see what other poets have to say. You can even join her challenge of writing about what food should have its own national holiday–her’s is National Hot Salad day.

The snow falls

Needing neither my acceptance nor approval.

The trees drop their leaves,

Withdrawing into winter’s slumber,

Not caring that I long for leafy shade

And summer’s heat.

But the little ones,

The children who come

With open hearts and open minds,

Who accept us without question–

At least for a while–

They need our acceptance.

It nourishes them root and branch

So they can leaf and blossom

And anchor themselves here.

Can we be the sun

That shines on them

When they are sweet like an apple blossom

And when they smell like a stinkhorn?

 

Thanks for stopping by!

xoxo

(The other photos are mine–this one is from unsplash.com)